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If one subject filled the Rrap more than anything else during the Gordon, Kati and Paul era it was . . . Bananas. Obviously bananas must have held a greater importance back in the 1980's then they do today. . . Letters below are from issue 42.
| ONE BANANA, TWO BANANA, THREE BANANA. . . Dear Lloyd, ‘The Banana' Castleford, West Yorkshire should get his facts right before sending in these allegations (issue 4O) about the most precous of things: bananas. OK Mr Banana, firstly I would like to say that so far as my pal here the leek and I could tell, bananas are pink. Yes, folks, that's pink not yellow - pah. I would like to pursue this matter further. Bananas are not called bananas because some lout said he’d call that yellow thing a banana. As everybody here on the renowned planet Vegetable Garden knows, the word is derived from the Latin word for a shovel. Bananas. So that’s about it really Mr Banana. New Potato, Cabbage Row, Leeds, Pink Bananaland. . . . Bananas. What an interesting subject it is and it must be said that The Banana from West Yorkshire really knows his stuff because he’s right about everything except one point. The Banana is called the banana because the African natives called it the fruit of the half moon and that, my bananologist friends tell me, translates back into African as Banana. The African who said this may well have been amazing but he most definitely didn’t say ’I’m going to call that yellow thing a banana’ he said 'Ugh! I’m going to call that yellow thing the fruit of the half moon’ so there. |
Prof Banana Andrew Davison, Claverley, Wolverhampton. PS I send my regards to The Banana, we must get together and talk shop sometime . . . I am writing with a sense of urgency, so urgent in fact, that I have had to let my goldfish go cold. Oh well, I suppose I can warm it up and have it later. Where was I? On yes, issue 40, the letter from the Banana. I feel he has left out some important facts about the fruit I love. They are as follows: 3. Bananas do not live in trees or oat pencils. 9. Bananas cannot be grown in vaseline. 7. Andrex puppies do not smoke bananas or go to Gateshead on their holidays. 63. People who shave off their leg hairs and stick them to their foreheads with egg white do not eat bananas. 72. Cars run on custard. 35. Banana does not rhyme with tree stump and is not an anagram of Pink Floyd. Well there we are folks, sorry to finish on the pineapple chunks. I mean the politics, my name’s yellow, curvy fruit person good night! Now where’s the cat - I’m feeling peckish. YCF Person, Worthing. I was on to a good thing once with a purple banana back in ‘63. Everything was going really well until I suggested we forget the party and split. . . I've never seen a really purple banana since. LM |
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